When January 2016 bids goodbye…

Bidding goodbye to a heavy and responsible month. Overall, it was a good month. The biggest change the month brought to me is the capability to say ‘No’ to people. I always tried making people happier and feared of losing relationships when I say no. This month, I said no to people and obviously lost many of them from my life (all good ones), still I am happy that I am being myself.

I know where my money goes because I maintain a daily ledger. I know my professional and personal developments because I maintain goals. Here, I started writing on ‘The Blue Signature’ with an aim of developing my own writing style and also to measure my writing progress. My reading is also in progress. My struggle to gain consistency in doing things is gaining pace. I have flawed, yet better.

I look forward to February with optimism, planning more streamlined efforts. I set goals and plan to move ahead more voraciously. I have done these things before, but never met the goals fully. Why this proves fruitful this time? The reason is that I realized the true meaning of permanence. There were floods, accidents, volcanoes…But, I was rarely sensitive because those never happened to me.

On November 21, 2015, when I suddenly lost my father, I realized life cannot be the same. If I want to do, let that be now. Pappa was the strongest pillar of my life. Although we rarely communicated, I knew I could just run to him if anything goes wrong. It was that confidence that made me free to do whatever I did. Now, I realize, I am on my own. I have no guarantee that I myself would wake up tomorrow.

That thought haunts me. Hence, I am living life to its fullest. Doing the best I can! Pappa, your life taught me several things, now your death teaches me more! I miss you terribly and wish we could be together forever!