The dark days I hate…

The lost feeling, reason less sadness, terrible disinterest, the instability…these are the things at which I scream, “I simply cannot take it”. I hate them, so I get them often too. Now, I am on the verge of another set of broken days and I did not even know why I feel so. I have become a bad employee (on my parameters) because I have kept works pending for no reason. I stayed away from all my routines including reading. I was questioning my very own existence.

Image Courtesy: Amand Millard Photography

As a means to come out from the dark days, I just went out and did a little bit of pampering for myself. The girl at the beauty spa had to take some extra efforts to bring me back into shape. For the first time, the hot wax felt unfamiliar to me. The strips or the shapes, everything was new to me. She kept talking and I was almost deaf. The head massage took me to a little nap. Unlike the usual days, I wasn’t so hesitant to wait. My tolerance helped several others who visited the spa after me that they finished their works earlier than me.

Few walks, a little shopping…pending things when erased from my to-do list give me a little bit of happiness. I slept for a long time and made a sandwich, the simplest thing to break my motionless days. Here I am, little recovered.

Why these emotional instabilities creep into our lives when we least expect it? I am still trying to find the answer for this because I wish to solve it permanently. It’s like the cloud suddenly appears in the middle of a sunny day. It would be fun if it explodes and rain entertains us. But, it stays gloomy, making us wonder what has the God forgotten to take.

I wonder if this is a way for my mind to embrace itself. May be makes me stronger. I hope for better days from tomorrow.