The girl in the next cubicle: Part III

It has been a while since I wrote something personal. I am ashamed to confess that my routines took control of my life.

Today, I cannot resist myself from writing. The reason is the girl in the next cubicle. Her insights surprise me. Sometimes, she amuses me. Not to mention, we turned closer. Now, we are friends.

Image Courtesy: Flickr by ADP Photos

We were looking into a small pond in the quadrangle of our office and were wondering why the fishes are not coming to the surface these days. In between, she said, “They are in the water. Likewise, we are in the air.” Suddenly, I became aware of the presence of the living beings watching us from somewhere above. Someone must be watching us like we are enjoying the pond from a world I cannot conceive.

“Fish thinks there is no life for it, once it comes out of the water. Similarly, we think there is no life for us when we lose air,” she added. I was amused. Not to mention, I got more convinced about the life after death.

For the memory of a beautiful Sunday...

I am not here to tell a story. Rather, I am here to preserve a memory of a beautiful Sunday morning. I've never been a photographer. But I clicked the below picture because the "moment" I took this was peaceful and beautiful. The blue sky added to my happiness. It's definitely an early morning.

When too much thinking comes your way…

I shall teach myself to think less. Everything around makes me think. A sight of a man crossing the road made me weave a long story about him in mind. That story kept me occupied till I reach office. A conversation I heard from someone yesterday, it made me think. The change of expression on a friend’s face, that made me think. Ultimately, I think about everything. Not to mention, they steal so much time from me.

Image Courtesy: www.firstredeemer.org

Is it a girl’s nature to think too much? At least I have read so. Oh! In that case, I should somehow learn to curb this habit. It’s overwhelming at the end of the day. I can do better things. Now, I get a clarity. It is not “thinking”. It’s perhaps “day-dreaming”. A few are day-dreaming. To say, the one I mentioned above about a man who crossed the road. But, the thought that came up to my mind when I heard a conversation yesterday, that wasn’t day-dreaming. I went through my own phases of my life, sometimes questioned my own existence, and felt little shattered. Then, I remembered the person who made the conversation did not know me or my reasons for choosing something. 

In short, the habit of thinking is sometimes too much for me. Actions could have solved half of my thoughts. The lesson learned for the day, “Don’t think too much.”

Rain, Rain come again. Go away another day!

It's drizzling. What a day! I was never romantic with the idea of rain. I preferred to sleep when the rain hits the soil. But, "this" me finds it attractive. Also, it was sunny these days and the rain is blessing this place after long days. I miss the soil smell, yet the rain has made the trees look beautiful. The traces of dust on the leaves have disappeared. They look greener. 

I wish my mornings to be like this every day. Calm with the drizzles sprinkling around. The unlucky putt, I’m destined to sit in front of the computer on this beautiful day, type the endless number of words, in the name of ‘work’. While I was coming to work today, I was reading Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In. One question stuck my mind – what will you do if you weren’t afraid? I have been thinking for so long to answer this question. Perhaps, I would have gone for long journeys. I would have resigned the job, sat at home, read n number of books, and written much better articles. I would have participated plenty of writers’ conferences, book festivals. The list goes on.

I still do most of these. But, the frequency is less as I have to balance it with schedules. In fact, I miss the beautiful mornings like today, when I could simply stare at the window or read something in the chillness of the rain, instead of worrying about meeting deadlines or the biometric attendance systems. Right now, I feel like reading Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s books. Don’t know why Marquez. But, there are piles of work to do. For now, Goodbye rain. But, keep raining. I would love to hear your noise while I aggressively hit the keyboard.

May 2016 turned me wiser

May 2016 was pretty slow. I had few setbacks, or rather I thought those are setbacks. They mounted up in my mind huge and I spent time in depression. Simultaneously, I have been reading a lot of books. You know, nothing else can cheer you up than a good book. Meanwhile, my closest friend gifted me an Amazon Kindle. So now, I have better reason to read. In fact, it was there on my bucket list for a long time. Somehow, I did not buy it. I thought my Amazon Kindle should have its original leather cover since it’s going to spend a lot of time in my hands. As usual, going for a branded cover was expensive, but it is worth. I loved my Kindle more when I adorned it with an elegant Navy Blue case.

That's my Kindle. I'm searching for a name for it..:)

On the other hand, I have messed my office work. I have been consistently late to office. I also couldn’t keep up my deadlines properly. I have no idea what’s coming down the pike. It’s the beginning of the new academic year and I have promised myself to become better. In fact, I thought if I don’t balance my office works properly, I will resign and sit at home. I know that is risky and could make me frustrated. But, I do not want to continue doing something when I cannot give my 100% to it. But, I love my workplace. So, I am taking some time to decide on it.

To talk about the books, I have started reading “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead” by Nell Scovell and Sheryl Sandberg. Sheryl Sandberg is the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook. She has pointed out some relevant scenarios in women’s life. It’s way too interesting. There are some humoristic takes on things as well. I loved it more than “30 Women in Power”. I’m not sure why I’m getting pulled more into women leadership stories these days. Perhaps, I’m making a choice subconsciously. But, there is a feeling of ‘things-falling-into-places’. I can simply feel I am nearing something I always wanted. Touchwood. Let that be true.

On the pursuit to learn to write a novel

After reading the book '30 Women in Power - Their Voices, Their Stories’, I have started reading the next book - '13 Ways of Looking at the Novel', written by a Pulitzer Prize-winning author Jane Smiley. 

She impressed me with a fabulous introduction that reveals the inside-the-head feelings of a writer. I felt it analogous to my thoughts. Many times, a dry spell occurs for a writer and he/she tends to analyze what is wrong with him/her. Ms. Smiley has expressed her experience vividly in the introduction. Usually, many writers do not reveal much about the mental transitions. 

In order to cross the hurdle she faced while writing the novel 'Good Faith', she decided to read 100 novels. The outcome is this book.

By reading 100 novels, she has analyzed the compositions of a novel, novelist, etc. Typically, this book is exclusive to those who wish to become writers. As the chapters go, the texts read more like academic writings. Apparently, Ms. Smiley’s teaching experience has reflected in this. 

I have decided to go through each page by taking notes from each chapter. Hence, this book is sure to steal some major time from me.

My Smile dairy - I

I read the significance of maintaining a ‘smile dairy’ online. It is a journal, where we regularly document the moment we made someone smile on the day. I found the idea fascinating and here it goes.

Today, I met a lady from the bus stop where I get down to come to the office. She was also traveling with me in the same bus, but we met after getting down from the bus. There is a road construction happening in the place, so vehicles have to take diversions at junctions. Due to this, the buses stop at a distance from the bus stop. The overall scenario made the lady surprised and left her confused about the road. I smiled at her and asked, "If there is a problem?" Her gloomy face suddenly turned brighten and she began inquiring the roads. After the necessary talk, she proceeded to a friendly chat, inquiring about my work and other random stuff.

We soon parted away when the next divergent road arrived. I remember the smile on her face and the farewell hand-wave she gave me by saying, "Take care daughter."

‘30 Women in Power – Their Voices, Their Stories’: A True Inspiration

There is no internet at the office today. I decided to read ’30 Women in Power – Their Voices, Their Stories’, a compilation of stories of 30 women in power. The stories quickly recap the early lives of 30 women achievers and the struggles they face to achieve the present positions. Significantly, it addressed a frequently raised question of how these 30 women balance their personal and professional lives. It also answered if there is a glass-ceiling at the corporate offices, which act as a hurdle for the women to achieve high positions. The book has gone one step ahead, explaining how to cross such glass-ceiling, if it exists.

I found the book highly relevant to every woman who dreams of her career. It equally serves those women who are already achievers. Edited by Naina Lal Kidwai, Chairman of HSBC India, the book is well-articulated and designed to target career-oriented women of India. Ms. Kidwai’s business intelligence is evident on every page of the book. The book has not used heavy jargons or tried to present the vocabulary skill of the writer. Instead, it is clearly on its path to convey the much-needed inspiration for working women in India.

At the end of every chapter, the key success factors are noted separately as bullet points. Reading these bullet points reinforce the concepts in the readers' mind. Also, few sections in the chapters are highlighted, a practice I felt reflect the systematic nature of the corporate world. Not to mention, the monochromatic themes used in the book is adorable.

The people listed in the book are those who hail from the privileged class and those who currently work in corporate companies. Initially, I felt the editor should have included women who come from the underprivileged background too. There are several examples of women from not-so-privileged background managed to succeed. A woman of this sort, who stays vivid in my mind is Liz Murray. I recently watched the movie ‘Homeless to Harvard’, a biopic of Liz Murray. I suggest the movie to people who raise the argument that the wrong upbringing or the fateful events that happened in the childhood of a person is the reason for their present lack of success. I agree that the unfortunate events happened during our childhood make an impact on our behaviors. But, I believe, it's wrong to say 'those unfortunate events are the reason why I am a failure now'. Perhaps, I will get back to this topic in another post.

Moving back to '30 Women in Power – Their Voices, Their Stories', although initially I felt Ms. Kidwai could have included women from the underprivileged background in the book, I realized that the target audience of the book is different. The book speaks more about surviving successfully through their careers than about beating severe odds of livelihood. To say, there are women who tend to resign jobs after marriage and maternity leaves. Taking charge of family responsibility is a reason pointed out for the resignation. This book tells such women how to balance personal and professional lives. Elegantly, it demonstrates the success of 30 women and tells readers ‘if these 30 women could do this, you can also do it.’ I appreciate Ms. Kidwai’s precise target indication.

At this stage (I have few more stories to read in the book), I am totally in love with ’30 Women in Power – Their Voices, Their Stories’. It is the true inspiration for myself and every other girl who dream high. 

Fulfilling the call of life…

The omens around me suggest me to leave everything I have. They ask me to vanish. But, I am never free. Rather, I fear to free myself. How can I think of leaving my mother in darkness for the pursuit of my writing? How can I shield away myself from every responsibility I carry and become selfish?

I know the answers that are going to pop-up. People say it’s a system where we live. This system will keep moving even if I do not exist. If I end up trying to fulfill everything around, I may not meet my passion. I do understand this clearly.

Image Courtesy: www.matthewwilliams-ellis.com

But, I still do have a question - There must be a way where I can balance things. A way by which I can take my passion and my responsibilities equally on one boat. Isn’t that possible? I heard the majority of them say ‘no’ for this. They say it’s an illusion. They say I will only keep doing more things because new responsibilities arise every day. I will never end up finishing those, and then taking care of me.

Perhaps, this is the last attempt towards what I believe. I am going to save a few hours of a day dedicated to my passion. The responsibilities can take the majority of my time. Let me have a little few hours myself. Let me see how far I can go. Bless me God. Bless me Pappa.

The memory of writing my first poem…

People say creativity comes out of a spur of a moment. I do agree on this. I remember when I first wrote a poem. I was studying in Class 5 and was returning from school one evening. Unusually, it was a jeep instead of the school van. I sat near the door and kept watching the vehicles and people passing nearby. Towards the middle of the journey, I recognized that I was singing four lines in my mind. Unknowingly, I was repeating those lines to myself.

When I reached home, I got down from the vehicle. With no time left to think, I ran to the bedroom upstairs and stood in front of the mirror, singing and acting along that lines. I sang them aloud. I felt good. I never wanted to lose those lines. I took an old notebook and scribbled those four lines. When I finished writing the four lines, I can sense there were more lines naturally flowing to the pages. I poured everything that came to my mind into those pages and there my first poem was born.

I also remember, I wrote my first poem with a pencil instead of a pen.

P. S.: The poem was about a lady who was in jail. It described her desire to see her children.